I’m back! I apologize for being away so long…I have an
anniversary and then pull a disappearing act…<grin> The last month was just crazy busy and I
simply didn’t have the energy to devote to writing more about genealogy or
archives. But I do have a lot to tell you, so here goes:
First, we (my hubs and I) finally closed on the short sale of the
condominium I’d purchased with my ex-husband back in 1990. The process was slow
and excruciatingly painful; not only were we losing a place we thought we’d
have in our retirement, but the years of scrimping and working two jobs to pay
two mortgages seemed to all be a waste. At the 11th hour the condo
association forced us to come up with even more money for assessments we
honestly shouldn’t have had to pay (according to my none too happy lawyer)
making the situation nearly unbearable. But, as seems to happen all too often for
us, the dust settled and we’ve weathered the storm. Although we won’t have this
place to live when we retire, we will always carry with us many happy memories
of Sunday mornings with the newspaper, listening to Smooth Jazz, with two very
content little boy kitties lounging right along with us:
Sunday morning brunch spot |
Sunday afternoon: Chillin' with Butch & Kid |
Just a bit of the Neely material before processing |
I ended my weekend by heading back to the Riverside Cemetery in
Kalamazoo. I’d had an ongoing conversation with the Cemetery manager, and she
was going to meet me at a section in one of the oldest parts of the cemetery.
I’d posted a picture of the receipt for the sodding and graves; their location
is just awful. There are two headstones in the lot; I still don’t know if the
people are actually related to me or not. But I couldn’t stand the fact that an
eight year old’s headstone had fallen over and been partially buried, with his
father’s buried nearly half way. I spent two and half hours digging to uncover
them. In the end, at least the base can be seen on the one stone, but the stone
that had tipped over will need stronger means than my arms to get it uprighted.
The Cemetery is aware and I’m going to try to continue to work with them. In
the meantime, I (we) realized that there is no less than a foot of eroded earth
on top of what may or may not be markers for my family member’s graves. The
reality is that, even if we took the time and effort to uncover them, gravity
will work against us and in another 20 years, they’ll just be covered again.
I’m the last person in our family, literally, who has the time to go all the
way to Kalamazoo. Once I’m gone, there simply won’t be anyone left to worry
about them. I’m taking the pragmatists route on this and simply letting Nature
take its course.
Riverside Cemetery, Kalamazoo Michigan. Owner Mrs. G Rathbone, Section E Lot 176. Graves of Henry Fletter and C. H. Fletter. Taken 04 Sept 2012. Before. |
Riverside Cemetery, Kalamazoo Michigan. Owner Mrs. G Rathbone, Section E Lot 176. Graves of Henry Fletter and C. H. Fletter. Taken 04 Sept 2012. After. |
Last, but certainly not least, August was Research Report
month for our ProGen Study group. For those of you who are unfamiliar, ProGen
is a group that studies Elizabeth Shown Mills’ book “Professional Genealogy”
through an 18 month course. It’s extremely challenging in that, along with all
the other life things that are going on, you still have to find time to get the
work done. And, I was wise to start early in the month. Except that I have had
a building challenge with ‘test anxiety.’ I thought that I was done with it
when I completed my Bachelors’ Degree, but when I started to take courses for a
Masters Degree a few years back, I found it reared its ugly head. Now I’m
finding that assignments that are due once a month have become anxiety laden
obstacles. And this month’s work, combined with the challenges of my personal
life (a bit more next), simply stopped me in my tracks. Fortunately, I may have
worked out the issue preventing me from moving forward; this month will be the
test for that (no pun intended). Good news is the Research Report was completed
although it was turned in a few hours late and now we’re on to the editing
portion of the course. Moving forward!
One last item. I ‘usually’ don’t stick my nose in other
people’s business, but if you’re a smoker, STOP IT. Just STOP. There is no good
reason to continue a habit that will kill you. It’s not a matter of if, but
when. My 45 year old cousin missed having a heart attack by 1%: his right
coronary artery was 99% blocked. He is not morbidly obese, although the doctor
told him he needs to lose 30 pounds, and a dietician was surprised at the high quality
of his diet. As the doctor said, “it’s just the smoking.” So, please, if you
smoke, stop. If you need help, just ask. There are tons of programs out there.
Yes, I know there is a cost; but is smoking worth dying for?
Yep, I’m back…
Busybusybusybusy - Laura, your life has been very full lately. But I see that you are completing your projects, following up on your passions, and moving forward. Good on you, as my father used to say! Cheers indeed! As for the no-smoking - my mother died of lung cancer, and my father of severe arterioscerosis leading to many strokes over 8 years before he died. Terrible prices to pay on top of the cash cost of each of them smoking about 1 1/2 cartons (15 packages, that is) per week, since they were about 14 or so. Amazing price. Great post. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI truly enjoyed reading this post. You really have had a full plate. Looking forward to what you have to say in your next post.
ReplyDeleteDear Laura, I'm so glad to have the chance to catch up with all that's been happening to you, and all you've done. No apologies needed! We all understand "crazy busy," and it catches us all off guard.
ReplyDeleteWhat stands out for me right away is a vision of you swimming the the 5-year-old triplets of the son of your clients--plus the 4-year-old. There you are scanning photo album pages and collecting stories one minute, and amiably swimming with them the next. A generous professional!
Speaking of professional, the ProGen couse on Mills's book sounds really rigorous. I know many people with test/performance anxiety and also writer's block. That can be savage. My dau tells me about 80% of the musicians she knows take a bit of inderal (or similar) before a concert--despite anxiety, it steadies your motor and thought skills. Good for you, moving on!
So sorry you had to sell the condo! Hope you can carry some of the idyllic memories through to the present, especially the Jazz and the kitties. That couch looks comfy.
Your experience at Riverside Cemetery sounds both grueling and sad. I'm glad you took the pragmatist route--nature will take its course anyway. 17th century essayist Thomas Browne (dense but wonderful writing) says in "Urn-Burial" that "gravestones tell truth but [i.e. only] forty years." Not fair. (A job hazard of being in lit is that quotes keep popping up in your head...then of course you have to say them. :} ) Anyway, so good to hear from you. Was so glad when hubs stopped smoking 20 years ago. He still craves and will stand downwind of a smoker on the sidewalk if he gets the chance. Go figure.
Laura, things have been busy for me also, but I'm anxious to hear if you discovered anything about my ancestor James Martin Richards. Please contact me. Kay (Offutt) Schmidt
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